Nostalgia

How’s it going everyone!

I’ve been looking back at the things I used to post, comment, or say on my social medias and on some personal notes I have written as a kid. As I am reading the things I had used to say and stuff I realize that I had seemed excited over everything looking back it seemed like a kid who was happy just full of life!

I would exaggerate a lot about the things I would get so excited for like family events coming up, road trips, new music coming out, and I would get all giddy about all the books I’ve wanted to read. I miss that feeling I don’t understand what went wrong or what happened to those days.

Nostalgia is a feeling of a happy moment in your past to which you like to look back at.

I do have to admit that I miss being a kid. During those times I didn’t have to worry about whether I can afford to buy myself a meal for this week or if I’d have to rely on work food to keep myself fed.

Now as I’m getting older I’m always falling into the trap of my own sadness. Nobody misses the good old days more than I do because those were the times when I didn’t have a single care in the world. It was also the time when I had no idea what the hell “depression” was.

Though, I figured it all started when I first moved from the city into a smaller town. I moved to a town where everyone seem to have known each other since they were children and me being the outsider I didn’t know a single person! I was so out of place. The city life was all I knew and had lived for.

But now that I am an adult I guess one of the reasons I get depressed is because there is so much pressure into getting your life sorted out because by the time you’re finished with high school you are expected to go to a four year university or community college, have a perfect career in mind, earn money, have experience to get a damn job even though I haven’t worked a day in my life! (Thankfully now I have a job.)

You’re basically suppose to have an idea about what you want to do for the rest of your fucken life. Sometimes I just hate how (not only society) so many people have such high expectations for each other. There is a bit too much pressure that you can’t make a single mistake.

Though as I write this I can tell you that I’m alright. I’m excited for my little vacation coming up I’ll be heading down to Monterey, CA for a week just to spend time with my sister. It’s been a long and stressful summer so I need a break from work and just relax.

You can now support this blog by helping buy a new lens on Ko-fi!

Take care!

Vivian

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