RAISON D’ÊTRE

How’s it going everyone! I hope you’re all doing well today.

I’ve been writing the Raison D’être series since I was about 12 years old. Although there is so much more writing and editing to be done before I take any further steps into possibly or even considering publishing it. I wanted to give you an exclusive sneak peek at some of the stories I’ve written.

Here are some quotes I have personally picked out for you!

This is Raison D’être book 1 of 8

When she looks down at her paper her face melts.

Memory.

Oh, memory where did you go? Why is that every time I want to remember something I see nothing but blurriness? You say I know you but all I can think of is “who are you?

As I get older I fear that my memory is going to fade, and I don’t want to forget about the wonderful things that I’ve done in my life, I don’t want to forget about all the amazing people I’ve met either. Why can’t these moments that we made together last forever? Time is so cruel. Limiting our chances of doing something incredible with the ones we care about.

I don’t want to forget.

As I collect all these photographs and write down about the amazing time I’ve had I figure that if I cling onto these items I will still have a piece of my life that I will hopefully never forget. It makes me sad to think that one day I’ll forget your name or what the color of your eyes were. The fear to keep on living.

I don’t want to forget.” […]

Whilst writing this part I sort of had a hard time putting together.

Personally, I have the fear of losing my memories. Even now I am scared of the simple things I am easily forgetting. Though one thing that terrifies me is the fact that there is a possibility of getting alzheimers disease. I don’t want to forget about my family, the memories I made, or my childhood.

While trying to put how I felt down into words was challenging, but that’s how I like it. (Just know that this entire series isn’t all set in stone there is so much more room for improvement).

“This one I call Forgotten.

Eventually everyone is going to leave. All those good times you’ve all spent together will probably one day become a forgotten memory lost in space and time. Those late-night conversations where you thought would last forever is going to end when you least expect it. People grow apart little by little sometimes you notice the signs and sometimes you just get cut off-” he snaps his fingers, “just like that.”

“Either those you loved will go their separate ways or they will leave you behind and go on with their lives without you. The fear of starting over and having to find new people to talk with will never be easy, but it’ll be something worth trying.

Then again…Maybe you’re just overthinking this and making yourself feel even worse about it and all those images you create in your head are just nonsense, but who knows maybe there might be a slight chance you’re right.

You see, everyone is going to leave at some point after everything you’ve been through together though sometime in the near future it is all going to mean nothing, and it won’t hurt as bad. It’s just going to be another story hidden in your mind waiting to be told but just won’t.

You can’t force them to stay if they don’t want to it’ll just make you feel guilty for making them become the person you thought they’d never be. Let them go if it’s necessary and learn to live by trying to forget the past and learn how to take better care of yourself. It is going to hurt, but with time it will start to hurt even less then eventually the feeling will go away…maybe. The worst part? Neither of you decided to say goodbye.

But when you’re wide awake at night and still thinking about it just shut your eyes and let yourself fall into the black void.”

[…]

I slip my feet into some warm slippers there was a thermostat on the wall beside the door and turn it up now that it was getting a bit chilly in here. I turn on the Christmas lights hanging throughout my room to liven up this place.

My eyes scans the faces of the people in the small photos I hanged with the little lights. Majority of photos were of family members while few were old friends I rarely talk to anymore. Not that I don’t care about them they just went silent and went on with their lives once we all graduated high school several years ago.

‘Little did I know that I would one day finally get away from him, away from his demanding words. How did one of my best friends become the one I would hate the most?’ I look at the high school graduation photo there was my best friends Cleo Jenson, Mika Sinai, and my ex-boyfriend Miles Harken. ‘So young and so fucken ridiculous. I don’t know why I still have this photo. I mean Mika was a very good friend and we both still talk every once in a while, but other than that I really did hate Cleo and Miles the most. Maybe this could be a reminder telling me that Matt is right…eventually everyone is going to leave. So, don’t get attached to the people I know now.’

Some of you might actually recognize the first part of the second section. About a year ago, I had written something along the lines of that which I then had inserted into my story. Though there is a meaning behind this one.

It ties in to the next paragraph, whilst the character looks over at the photo of her high school friends she now realizes that friends really do come and go. Sometimes I believe that once you leave your home town or move to far away you then realize who your real friends are because they’d stay in contact with you if they really meant something to you. As for some, they just…disappear.

I am lucky to have stayed in contact with a few close friends from high school. Though the older I get the more I realize eventually everyone will go their own way and meet new people.

Living in another state I have met some fantastic people. I wouldn’t trade the memories I have made here for the world.

Take care!

Vivian

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