Is This Really It?

Lately I have been having sort of a “mid life crisis” and well I’ve seen some of my coworkers come and go. I mean that happens it’s life you can’t stay in one job forever, but for some reason I’m thinking, “is this it? Once I begin working I’m stuck here? Am I supposed to work until I retire or die?”

I’m still young don’t get me wrong. I have my entire life ahead of me and there is so much I want to do while I am still here, but how can I?

I can’t just quit my job and travel the world I NEED money to do the things I want. Well there are online jobs I can do to help me achieve that but what are the odds of me becoming successful through an online thing?

The dumb thing about all of this is the fact that I have such a great supervisor who is such an understanding and intelligent man. I bet he might have had the same feelings I had. Nowadays it’s kind of rare to have a boss like mine someone who would go out of his way and help an employee with as much as he can. I don’t want to lose someone like him.

We live in a society where you can’t support yourself with just a single job. You’re stuck in this loop where you just have to work until you can stop but once you get there you’re too old and tired to do any of the things you really wanted to do. Sometimes it just sucks to be an American…stuck living in a place where not even $100 can get you anywhere. (In reality it can, but you know what I mean). Things are just so overpriced and people are living in extreme poverty they can’t afford to feed themselves let alone their children.

There were times when I stood there at work and just wanted to quit. There were times where I would be just stressed out for no damn reason even when it was slow day. Maybe I need to go on a break and talk to a therapist or one of my good friends. I need to get out and just have some time for myself let me get my thoughts together and sort of figure out where I want to go from here.

Honestly, I could be just overreacting and just making myself feel stressed about the things that are out of my reach. Who knows?

I remember back in high school one of my good friends once told me, “some things are meant to be broken so it can fall back into place.” It takes persistence, power, and courage to be the one to pick up those pieces and guide them where they needed to be in the first place. Because if you love what you have that’s basically all you’ll ever need.

Take care.

Vivian

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